Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Little guy sees the snow on the sidewalk and says, "That looks like the stuff that was on my french toast."

Middle guy looks at the bowl of white granules on the breakfast table and says, "Can I eat that?"

One thing's for sure, they both love sugar.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Friday, January 18, 2013

I work at an independent movie theater. We show small budget films that are either foreign or especially artful. I enjoy working there for the most part. Sometimes, at night, however, I am a little anxious to get home to my family. I try not to get too impatient with the lingering movie patrons, but there are times when I just want to yell out at that lone couple sitting in the back of the theater, "IT WAS FILMED IN TURKEY-ALRIGHT-ALREADY!"

Thursday, January 17, 2013

I had a job interview yesterday for a bank teller position. Let me tell you how ill-suited I would be for this position. Potentially 9-6 Monday through Friday, every other Saturday, occasional staff meetings at 7:45, responsibility for cash drawers, (as in I have to make up the difference if they are wrong), and having to "sell" banking products like savings accounts and internet banking (yikes!). All I was looking to do was get a nice simple job where I get to greet people and wish them a nice day. (Perhaps I should get a job at Walmart?)
Questions I should have asked my interviewers are as follows:
  • Can I keep a bag of snacks by my desk and be allowed to nosh from it whenever I want?
  • Can I pick my teeth with a toothpick whenever there are no customers?
  • Can I watch "Big Bang" reruns on the computer or work on any of my craft projects when there are no customers?
Had I asked these I might have gotten out of that no-windows boardroom a lot quicker.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

This is a great place for breakfast, 
if you are into that sort of thing.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Monday, January 7, 2013

I confiscated 5 cell phones,
put a stop to 4 viewings of inappropriate web content 
and spilled water all over the teacher's desk.
All in all, a good day at subbing.

Friday, January 4, 2013