Monday, December 31, 2012

You know how some people run marathons?
Christmas break is my marathon. 
Seven straight days with 4 boys (one being 43 years old), 
three rapid-fire-40-disc-shooting Nerf guns, 
two Star Wars 330-piece Lego sets, 
three remote control helicopters, 
two sets of boxing gloves, 
assorted candy wrappers, 
wet boots and mittens 
is an exercise of enormous self-control for me. 
I have been using every muscle in my body 
to try and keep my mouth shut (successful some of the time) 
and not not yell (all of the time), "Pick up your crap!"

Saturday, December 29, 2012

We are now living in a snow capsule.
Wet boots are at every entryway. 
Coats hanging by the radiators. 
Gloves sitting on top. 
We are on 24 hour hot cocoa watch.
Some day the sun will come out. 
Until then, enjoying the warmth inside.

Friday, December 28, 2012

I got two hair dryers for Christmas. They are both equally awesome with attachments and the power to blow fuses in the house. Plus, my hair looks fantastic after I use each one. So, I will be using them interchangeably so as to prolong each of their shelf lives. I plan on not having to put "hair dryer" on my Christmas list until at least 2017.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Friday, December 21, 2012

Went to the local watering hole last night.
Little guy ordered a Shirley Temple because "they look prettier than a Roy Roger". I ordered a Chardonnay, but in my head I was thinking Shiraz. 
This has happened to me once before. I was out for Chinese food with my mom and I ordered a miso soup when what I wanted was hot and sour.
I guess I need to get more focused when ordering out.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Friday, December 14, 2012

Monday, December 10, 2012

Went to the neighborhood watering hole the other night. 
Sat and watched threes screens of TV interchangeably. 

One gentleman gave me his martini's olives and told me about
how he became a journeyman lineman for the electric company in D.C.
Another woman told me about the plate of chicken wings she put out on display at the supermarket where she works.

The bartender gave me three tastes of beer and told me that circulation was up at the library where he works during the day. 

All in all, it was $2.75 well spent for a beer on a Saturday night.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Went out with a crew of friends the other night. What is it about a Mexican restaurant and chips? Why is it that no matter how well fed I am, I still can't get enough of those yellow triangles piled high with salsa inside my mouth? Inevitably the next day, I always feel sick to my stomach for inhaling so much fried corn, but it doesn't matter. The siren song of free hors d'oeuvres and cheap red wine keeps me in a trance as soon I enter the doors of a Mexican restaurant.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Friday, November 30, 2012

Went to the beach last weekend. I watched so much tv. One day I watched 3 hours of housewives from somewhere in California. Another day I got sucked into the FX channel showing all six Star Wars movies consecutively. I have a much better grasp of Luke and  Leia and I understand how Darth Vadar came about and I think that there is a good case for becoming a Jedi. Cable can be an awesome thing, but only when I go away and watch it some place other than my own home. If I had it at my house, I don't think I would ever go outside.

I did make fairly decent potato pancakes out of our leftover mashed potatoes from Thanksgiving. The hard part is not letting them fall apart. I made one batch with bread crumbs and another with rice flour. Both turned out pretty tasty. Of course, it's hard to go wrong with fried potato-anything.

My pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving was a disaster.
The filling was lumpy and thick and the crust tasted like bread. There are some things I need to depend on others to do better than me. Pumpkin pie is one of them.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Monday, November 19, 2012

The Lebanese restaurant where she worked proved to be nice and airy like a cruise ship docked in the San Francisco Bay. Plus, it had great falafel. She needed the sense of calm bringing customers plates of hummus gave to her. It was as if her life's worth of good deeds were being accomplished. She imagined nurses, firemen and bartenders felt the same way. She was glad, of course, that her job was only part time. That way she had time to work on her many craft projects involving old buttons and bits of yarn. Yes, she had to admit she felt quite loved going to work each day. She guessed it was not necessary to become a supermodel after all.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Her pants felt tight against her skin and she wondered if her bloat was a result of too much soup the night before. Soup was one of her favorite things, next to barbecue corn chips and Ravel's Bolero. Lately, however, she'd been wondering if she had been overdoing it. Her breath reeked of onions or at least that's what her roommate, Samantha, was quick to reveal to her,"Do you ever brush your teeth?" Her soup routine went something like this: open an envelope of Lipton Onion, mix half of it with a can of diced tomatoes and add any additional frozen or canned vegetables she had laying around along with half a package of ramen noodles. This seemed to always fit the bill after a long day of commuting back and forth from the city. She needed the soup because it calmed her much like pizza did when she was in college. Now that she was a professional, her pizza days were over unless she had to meet a client at an upscale trattoria with a wood burning oven. Soup was her medicine and bloated or not, she was going to the store to pick up two more boxes of Lipton onion, three cans of tomatoes and a six pack of Oriental flavored ramen.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Monday, October 1, 2012

Friday, September 28, 2012

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

She wanted to tell someone her new plan for existence - only talk to those people who knew a lot. That way, she could learn all she needed to know from them without having to learn it from personal experiences or books. She thought this was a brilliant idea except for the fact that it was hard to find the people who knew a lot amongst the people who acted like they knew a lot. It was easy to distinguish them by looks because most know-it-alls dressed the part (a little better than everyone else). People who actually knew a lot dressed like her grandma or the guy down the street who mowed his lawn every Saturday morning at 7 o'clock - people that don't have anything to prove to anyone but themselves. Still, it was hard to find those people to talk with at cocktail parties and art openings and Starbucks, places where she went for social interaction.If she wanted to talk with the people who really knew their stuff, she'd have to call her grandma more often than holidays and maybe even  bake the lawnmower guy some cookies and take them down to him on a Saturday afternoon while he's cracking open a cold one. Maybe then she might really learn some interesting tidbits of information.

She always wanted to lose weight while mowing the lawn. The cigarette helped calm her, but not enough to quench her thirst for a very large beer at the corner bar. That's where she liked to meet up with the town cronies. Not that they liked meeting up with her. She appreciated their company whereas they appreciated the free bar snacks and one dollar Keystone Pounders during happy hour. The only person she really wanted to see was Candace the bartender. She was always nice to her and made her feel like someone special. Not many people could make her feel special. Especially now that she was divorced. All she ever felt these days was like damaged goods.
People kept telling her it was for the best, but all she kept feeling inside herself was a big empty hole that no amount of beer, cigarettes or strangers' company could fill. She figured eventually she'd have to get out of town, just to start over. But not until she found a decent job that could actually pay the mortgage. Then she could leave. She needed to feel like she could take care of herself and the property. Otherwise, she would feel like it was just one more thing she had failed at.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Sheila wasn't sure what started her reaction to frozen foods. Was it the time she was at the grocery store and saw the man unloading lima beans from the aisle into the freezer cases? Or was it the time her grandma had her search inside her cellar deep freeze for the last bag of shelled black walnuts she had been saving for a batch of chocolate chip cookies? Whichever it was, Sheila avoided the two aisles in the grocery store that carried them. The few times she did encounter a bag of Birds Eye lima beans or box of ice cream sandwiches, her stomach twisted up into knots and she usually excused herself to the restroom. She did have a theory on her aversion. The time her older brother locked her into the meat locker at the butcher shop where he worked when she was 7 years old left a lasting impression on her. He apologized to her, afterall, it was his first job and he was still learning the ropes and why in the heck did mom make him give his family a tour of the place, anyways? Sheila was starting to think that is when her weird fear began. Becoming a box of chopped asparagus spears was a recurring nightmare for her and one she prayed would never happen as a result of her transgressions in this karmic universe.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Molly asked herself this whenever she found herself standing alone at a bar: "What is the purpose of my existence? Is it to buy another drink and watch other people have a good time or should I bolt out of here and go seek a finer pursuit like 'Mad Men' episodes on my DVR?" She watched a man come towards her and she turned her back to him and towards the bar. The barkeeper asked if she would like another. She said not now, maybe later. She gathered her purse onto her shoulder and began her maneuver through the crowd. Don Draper was waiting for her at home.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Saturday, August 11, 2012

In other words, sometimes it feels best just to listen.