Wednesday, September 19, 2012
She wanted to tell someone her new plan for existence - only talk to those people who knew a lot. That way, she could learn all she needed to know from them without having to learn it from personal experiences or books. She thought this was a brilliant idea except for the fact that it was hard to find the people who knew a lot amongst the people who acted like they knew a lot. It was easy to distinguish them by looks because most know-it-alls dressed the part (a little better than everyone else). People who actually knew a lot dressed like her grandma or the guy down the street who mowed his lawn every Saturday morning at 7 o'clock - people that don't have anything to prove to anyone but themselves. Still, it was hard to find those people to talk with at cocktail parties and art openings and Starbucks, places where she went for social interaction.If she wanted to talk with the people who really knew their stuff, she'd have to call her grandma more often than holidays and maybe even bake the lawnmower guy some cookies and take them down to him on a Saturday afternoon while he's cracking open a cold one. Maybe then she might really learn some interesting tidbits of information.
She always wanted to lose weight while mowing the lawn. The cigarette helped calm her, but not enough to quench her thirst for a very large beer at the corner bar. That's where she liked to meet up with the town cronies. Not that they liked meeting up with her. She appreciated their company whereas they appreciated the free bar snacks and one dollar Keystone Pounders during happy hour. The only person she really wanted to see was Candace the bartender. She was always nice to her and made her feel like someone special. Not many people could make her feel special. Especially now that she was divorced. All she ever felt these days was like damaged goods.
People kept telling her it was for the best, but all she kept feeling inside herself was a big empty hole that no amount of beer, cigarettes or strangers' company could fill. She figured eventually she'd have to get out of town, just to start over. But not until she found a decent job that could actually pay the mortgage. Then she could leave. She needed to feel like she could take care of herself and the property. Otherwise, she would feel like it was just one more thing she had failed at.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Sheila wasn't sure what started her reaction to frozen foods. Was it the time she was at the grocery store and saw the man unloading lima beans from the aisle into the freezer cases? Or was it the time her grandma had her search inside her cellar deep freeze for the last bag of shelled black walnuts she had been saving for a batch of chocolate chip cookies? Whichever it was, Sheila avoided the two aisles in the grocery store that carried them. The few times she did encounter a bag of Birds Eye lima beans or box of ice cream sandwiches, her stomach twisted up into knots and she usually excused herself to the restroom. She did have a theory on her aversion. The time her older brother locked her into the meat locker at the butcher shop where he worked when she was 7 years old left a lasting impression on her. He apologized to her, afterall, it was his first job and he was still learning the ropes and why in the heck did mom make him give his family a tour of the place, anyways? Sheila was starting to think that is when her weird fear began. Becoming a box of chopped asparagus spears was a recurring nightmare for her and one she prayed would never happen as a result of her transgressions in this karmic universe.
Friday, September 7, 2012
Molly asked herself this whenever she found herself standing alone at a bar: "What is the purpose of my existence? Is it to buy another drink and watch other people have a good time or should I bolt out of here and go seek a finer pursuit like 'Mad Men' episodes on my DVR?" She watched a man come towards her and she turned her back to him and towards the bar. The barkeeper asked if she would like another. She said not now, maybe later. She gathered her purse onto her shoulder and began her maneuver through the crowd. Don Draper was waiting for her at home.