She always wanted to lose weight while mowing the lawn. The cigarette helped calm her, but not enough to quench her thirst for a very large beer at the corner bar. That's where she liked to meet up with the town cronies. Not that they liked meeting up with her. She appreciated their company whereas they appreciated the free bar snacks and one dollar Keystone Pounders during happy hour. The only person she really wanted to see was Candace the bartender. She was always nice to her and made her feel like someone special. Not many people could make her feel special. Especially now that she was divorced. All she ever felt these days was like damaged goods.
People kept telling her it was for the best, but all she kept feeling inside herself was a big empty hole that no amount of beer, cigarettes or strangers' company could fill. She figured eventually she'd have to get out of town, just to start over. But not until she found a decent job that could actually pay the mortgage. Then she could leave. She needed to feel like she could take care of herself and the property. Otherwise, she would feel like it was just one more thing she had failed at.